1) How do you get a one-armed hippie out of a tree? Pass him a joint!
2) What is the difference between politicians and stoners? They don’t inhale, they just suck.
3) A cop pulls a stoner over and says, “Sir, your eyes are glazed. Have you been smoking marijuana?” The stoner replies, “No officer. Your eyes looks glazed. Have you been eating donuts?”
4) Why did the stoner cross the street? His medical cannabis provider is located on the other side!
5) How many stoners does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. At least one of them has a lighter.
6) What is a stoners favorite dessert? A pot-pie!
7) What do you call it when you find a bag of nugs? Pot-luck!
8) What do you call a medicated Pikachu? Tokemon
9) What to you call an epileptic who uses medical marijuana to help with seizures? Shake and bake
10) Free you mind, free your soul. Smoke some weed and let it all go.